Everyday in every way we are in one negotiation or the other, whether it is a mum trying to get her daughter to do some chores or a sales man trying to close a deal, and for real many people hate the act and art of negotiation most especially when it is the latter (a business negotiation), where there is not usually much leverage to place a demand as in the case of a parent who could dangle a reward for good behavior. If Negotiation is important for everyone how come few people understand or do it right. My earliest exposure to negotiation was following my mum at age six to eight to the local market and watch her price these big fishes from 10Naira down to 3Naira before closing the deal and I always felt mama was a coldblooded negotiator who enjoys to not pay a fare share for goods on display and one time after such hard negotiation the seller asked her to carry it for free sarcastically.

There are a few rule to being a good negotiator in my opinion and from my experience and number one fairness, I think if you always start by asking what will be fair to the other guy were I in his shoes. Many people think good negotiation is a winner take all event, that very far from the truth, one of the precursor to the world war Two was the unfair treaty the Germans felt they were made sign at the end of the first world war that wrecked havoc on their economy. Fairness means protecting the dignity and honor of the person you are negotiating with.

Another rule is to have a concrete expectation of what a good or fair deal will be for you for example, I cannot sell this item below Ten US dollar that is concrete and firm so if you sell at eleven this is fine but Nine US dollar is a no go territory. Many people go for negotiations with zero concrete expectation such that they do not know what constitute a good deal or a bad deal, these often wearies the negotiating party and is not good.

Lastly, I think may be most important is to really listen to what the other party is saying and re-echo their words eg ” Do you mean Mr John that your budget is actually 10Dollars ? When we listen to really understand the other person’s position and constraint we might find a better alternative that favors both parties. Remember even if you are negotiating with your enemy literally the ultimate goal to find a common ground that is favorably to you and to the other party.